Descriptive Reflection: Self-introduction letter

 

Subject : Formal Introductory Letter

Dear Prof. Brad Blackstone,

My name is Muhammad Irsyad Bin Jumahat a year 1 student in mechanical design & manufacturing engineering. I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in automation & mechatronic systems specialized in aerospace system.

One of my communication strengths is my ability to efficiently demonstrate technical information to people who are unfamiliar in this field. I have had the opportunity to do this through various group projects in my coursework, where I was responsible for explaining the idea concepts to my teachers and classmate.

However, one of my weaknesses is my tendency to get overwhelmed when communicating with large groups of people. I recall an incident where I was presenting to a group of officers during my service in national service. It almost become a disastrous presentation because I was nervous and terrified especially knowing that there is the Chief of army was present which has resulted in my failing to effectively convey my ideas. I am working on improving this weakness by having to talk in big groups and be proactive in class presentation.

One specific goal I have for this module is to improve my communication skills and report writing. I believe that these skills will be extremely valuable in my future career as an engineer, as they will allow me to effectively communicate the results of my work to others. Another goal I have is to expand my knowledge in manufacturing system and to be proactive in the industry.

What differentiates me from others is my ability to think creatively. I am constantly seeking out new challenges and opportunities to learn and grow as an engineer, and I am confident that these qualities will serve me well in the future.

 

Sincerely,

Muhammad Irsyad

Comments

  1. Lim Yan ChenJanuary 12, 2023 at 9:53 PM

    Irsyad displayed good organisation in his statements and the examples he gave were relevant and provided significant depth to the reasons he wish to further improve.
    The following example was very impactful as it allows the readers to empathise with him and the situation, "I recall an incident where I was presenting to a group of officers during my service in national service. It almost become a disastrous presentation because I was nervous and terrified especially knowing that there is the Chief of army was present which has resulted in my failing to effectively convey my ideas. I am working on improving this weakness by having to talk in big groups and be proactive in class presentation."
    However, he did make a language error in line 3, where he should have capitalise "Ngee Ann Polytechnic" as it is a name of an institution, thus constituting its use. There also other capitalisation errors that can be resolved by rereading the statements before posting.
    His final salutations should have been "Yours Sincerely" rather than "Sincerely".
    In terms of organising his thoughts, it was done well and made reading the introduction easy. Despite this, Irsyad should have placed an ending statement to summarise the introduction, thus providing a conclusion to ease the readers to the ending.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Vernon TanJanuary 14, 2023 at 6:48 AM

    Well structured and organized letter clearly following the format given to us. I noticed that the format for the letter was to state two goals for this module, however one of the goals mentioned was for the course and not the module. Nonetheless, was an interesting read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Muhdirsyad98January 28, 2023 at 2:30 AM

      Thank you for the feedback. Appreciate the effort to read up on my self introduction. I will improve on the points that you mentioned.

      Delete
  3. AsyrafJanuary 15, 2023 at 12:29 AM

    Well written and explained! I like how your examples were clear. However, I noticed that some lines are long and some are short. Maybe you could have organized your letter better. Nonetheless, well done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Muhdirsyad98January 28, 2023 at 2:31 AM

      Thank you for the feedback asyraf. I will improve on it.

      Delete
  4. Marvin SimJanuary 24, 2023 at 7:34 PM

    The self introduction was well written as he convey all his points clearly in his letter, his content are excellent except that his introduction is a little vague. Overall it is interesting and worth the read

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Muhdirsyad98January 28, 2023 at 2:33 AM

      Appreciate the effort on reading on my self introduction. Will improve on the introduction. Nevertheless, thank you on the feedback.

      Delete
  5. Brad BlackstoneJanuary 25, 2023 at 9:10 PM


    Dear Irsyad,

    Thank you for this detailed and fairly clear letter. You address most of the points of the brief, and share key info. I especially appreciate learning about your NS experience when you were presenting before the army chief. What I would lke to know is if there was any negative impact from that performance.

    You also share on your comm skills and career goals, and on what makes you unique, but there are a few points that can be refined.

    1. punctuation
    -- My name is Muhammad Irsyad Bin Jumahat a year 1 student in mechanical design & manufacturing engineering. I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in automation & mechatronic systems specialized in aerospace system.
    >
    My name is Muhammad Irsyad Bin Jumahat, a year 1 student in mechanical design & manufacturing engineering. I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in automation & mechatronic systems and specialized in aerospace system.
    -- I have had the opportunity to do this through various group projects in my coursework, where I was responsible for explaining the idea concepts to my teachers and classmate.
    >
    I have had the opportunity to do this through various group projects in coursework where I was responsible for explaining the idea concepts to my teachers and classmate.
    -- It almost become a disastrous presentation because I was nervous and terrified especially knowing that there is the Chief of army was present which has resulted in my failing to effectively convey my ideas. > (wrong verb tense/phrasing/comma error)
    It almost became a disastrous presentation because I was nervous and terrified, especially knowing that the chief of army was present, which has resulted in my failing to effectively convey my ideas.

    2. lack of accuracy
    -- One specific goal I have for this module is to improve my communication skills and report writing. > (Is this accurate? It seems like general goal and a specific one.) ?

    I look forward to learning more about you this term.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Muhdirsyad98January 28, 2023 at 2:37 AM

      Hi Prof Brad, thank you for the comments and feedback. I will strive to do better in my next draft. Appreciate you time to read and gave detailed comments.

      Delete

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